Dec 31, 2013


By julie"anne at 10:06 AM
January - I was still down during this time of this year. So many conflicts with family and still trying to adapt myself to the change. It was small thing like this (link) helped cheer me up, other than Mr. Yu.

February - on the 13th enrolled for Masters Programme in University of Malaya. Meh, nothing important. Still no progress in my family improvement. I couldn't care less.

March - on the fifth was our fifth anniversary (link). This date is the most important date in our relationship. I guess we will be celebrating this day even more than any day in our lives.

April - nothing specific.

May - witnessed a very terrible accident (link). That was by far the worst I have ever seen.

Jun - month full of events. On the second, we got engaged. on the 13th was my birthday and on the 29th we got married!! Yeay! Everything happened in a short time. Sampai ada yang fitnah kami kawen terburu-buru, macam nak cover something. Hahaha. Those people and their shallow mentalities. Let them be. As long as we are happy together, it's more than enough. (here and here)

July - First Ramadhan fell on the9th of July this Year. Mr Yu wanted to give his parents a surprise by going home on the day before Ramadhan. This was the first time I ever been to Terengganu. People find it weird that I have never set foot at my in-laws'. But my parents are quite strict when it comes to meeting other guy. That's why certain things are better left unsaid. lol!

August - Hari Raya! It was Eid ul Ftri. Had a very long raya. On the 4th of Syawal, which was on the 11th of August, there was a small reception at my in-laws' (link)

September - BSN's Family Day at Bukit Merah Laketown Resort! Had some mi udang and green tea frappe at kapitan classic white coffee cafe. And threw out right in front of the Restaurant. Still didn't suspect anything. But later that month we bought home pregnancy test kit and found out I was actually pregnant! Yeay! (link) Nak beli kit tu pun boleh gaduh depan kaunter Watson. Hahaha. Masing-masing malu nak bertanya. And Mr. Yu was being mean when he called for assistance and left me there, by myself. I just stood there staring at him, as he was trying to get away. But then he came back. Maybe he knew I was mad, maybe he saw how I was embarrassed. Oh, those were the days. Hahah. I then did a check up at PPUM and found out I was already couple of weeks pregnant.

October - was my first antenatal check-up (link). Hihihi. First trimester was the worst! I was so weak. After my wedding, I guess my relationship with parents is getting better. They now could see clearly now how I was being the victim. Thanks to my wicked auties and this stupid guy in my family. Hahaha. Semua yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. Thank you Allah!

November - Had the second antenatal appointment. Aaaannnnnddd the Sabah Trip!! It was a blast!

December - Here we are. Last Saturday we went for 4d scan. We went home satisfied! Although the clinic was quite far from home (clinic Qistina at Sri Kembangan) , It was cheaper there. MYR 105 including the CD was OK. In KL the same thing costs MYR 120 to 200. Isn't that crazy?

So, 2014. What have you got for me? 2013 had made me tougher and stronger. I am braver than ever now.

Dec 27, 2013

Hubby is sick.

By julie"anne at 11:06 PM

Sayu pula hati tengok orang demam, tapi masih ade hati nak bawak wifey pusing2. Eventhough naik kereta, but I knew he was in great pain. The wifey pulak macam tak ada hari lain dah kan. 

He is like that. My needs are his priorities. He is selfles. He is kind. He is patient, even to his spoilt-brat wifey. I, on the other hand, am quite an opposite to all those qualities. But I am pretty sure I am kind enough. Hehe. 

I love you, sayang. Get well soon!!


By julie"anne at 6:16 PM
Dulu susah. Pergi sekolah pakai kasut yang ada je. Itupun kalau ada. Kalau hujan kasut tak sempat kering, esoknya pakai kasut bola siapa punya tah tersadai. Pernah pakai kasut yang dh kopak pun. Ikat dengan getah. Jalan hincut-hincut takut getah putus. Dimarah, dikutuk cikgu. Still tabahkan hati belajar.

Dear baby,
mommy loves you. I will make sure it won't happen to you. I know how it feels. I will try my best to give you the best in this world. I just hope you will be greater than us, because we love you.

a letter to Angie.

By julie"anne at 5:51 PM
“My wife got sick.  She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. 

She has lost 30 pounds and weighed about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs.

She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up. 

Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. 

I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon…But then I decided to act on it. 
After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth. 

She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders.

I began to pamper her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised her and pleased her every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends.

You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much. And then I realized one thing: The woman is the reflection of her man. If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it.“              

- Brad Pitt 

And I want you to know, I have felt the greatest love ever.Thank you, love!

Dec 26, 2013

Male Obgyn.

By julie"anne at 11:52 AM
This is , I think, a very sensitive issue towards Malay men. Most of them bila bercakap pasal doc lelaki yang sambut anak lahir, macam orang tu buat dosa besar. Eh, orang tu selamatkan nyawa anak isteri kau. Guna alasan aurat? Habis antara perempuan tak ada aurat? Yang hari biasa tu jaga dulu auratnya kut, baru nak cakap pasal hal tu kat dlm bilik bersalin. Kalau nak sangat, sambut anak tu sendiri. Baru tahu kut susah senangnya. Orang lelaki islam ni pelik sikit egonya. 

Of course I won't be comfortable being attended by male doc. I won't even be comfortable having anyone looking at my hoo-haw. I would of course request for female doc. Tapi kalau dah tak ada, takkan nak suruh Mr. Yu je yang sambut. Come on people. Kerja diorang dah susah, jangan disusahkan. Kalau rasa benda tu senang, kenapa masa sekolah dulu tak ambil medicine? Hah, pergilah jadi doktor sana. Cuba tengok, mampukah anda?

Dec 20, 2013


By julie"anne at 12:03 PM
In a relationship, there is no winner. No matter, if you think you are right, if you still want to win, you will never make it to the end.

Too bad if most of the time you could only think about yourself, not what you could do to make things work. Sigh. Stop being selfish and start working as a unit. Sometimes you may have to sacrifice your feelings. Sometimes it is not a bad thing if you speak your heart out too. 

Dec 17, 2013

I don't want to live in this place anymore.

By julie"anne at 9:00 AM
It is not a secret anymore that I despise living in Malaysia. Life in Malaysia is becoming more suffering, day by day. Everyday there will be reports on price hikes, money laundering, political circus, crimes and many more.

Mr. Hubby is very conscious about this matter. He will discuss everything with me. But, I have come to the point that I just have to accept everything so that I can remain calm. He already knows my feelings. He understands I hate it here. But we can not do anything about it, as we are already trapped here. I will always try to find a way out. But, we'll see.

I still miss Nuernberg. I still miss Germany. But our families are still in Malaysia. And we can not leave them just like that. We have responsibility and we can not afford to leave it just like that. sighhhhh. what a dilemma!

Dec 13, 2013

Chennai Express

By julie"anne at 4:42 PM

It suddenly rains so heavily in KL. I should've expected that, knowing it is the monsoon season. Luckily I am done shopping. Well, well, well. Who knows retail therapy does really help!

While I was waiting for the bus, a girl came to me asking for help. She wore tudung and a little short sleeved baby T. She asked if she could use my phone to call home since hers ran out of battery. 

I was at first very sceptical. I blame the humanity nowadays. But then looking at her, she is so fragile. What could she do? I asked myself. 

I took out my phone, dialed it for her and handed it to her. She took and suddenly:

"Hello amma. Ayoyyo. Bla bla bla. Battri yillek. Ayoyyo. Bla bla bla."

She ended the call and thanked me. I was glad I could help. On the other hand, I would like to thank Chennai Express. Lol!


By julie"anne at 2:53 AM
I know you both have moved on. It was just a joke. Why did you have to take it seriously?

I know you love me. If not you wouldn't be here. Why did you think I ever doubted you? 

But then the way you acted give me tons of reasons to be doubtful. 

Sorry if I am being annoying. You can leave me, if you want. I won't mind. I can live with this baby on my own. Go find some not-annoying girl. If I can make it through tonight by myself, I can make it for the rest of my life too. I have lived before you. Trust me, I won't die. 

Dec 12, 2013

18 Weeks

By julie"anne at 10:22 AM
We are almost halfway through, sayang!

Though I am becoming more energetic, I am still not strong enough to scrub the floor and do heavy duty jobs. Just last Sunday I scrubbed the balcony's and the kitchen's floor, and the next day my back pained so much, I couldn't even get up. But I liked it when it clean. Mr. Hubby fixed the mirror in the bathroom and cleaned it. Thanks for the help, sayang!

I think we are having a baby boy, according to Shida's book. My skin is dry and I crave for protein. Well, whatever. We don't really mind, as long as it is healthy and has a specific gender (of course, duhh!), mommy and daddy are gonna be happy parents.

I enjoyed playtime with Sofiya. Oh, I love her. I am a mommy already, the moment Shida gave birth to her. She is a little precious.

I hate that I am now fat. I don't have proper dress and  I hate buying those ugly maternity dresses. ughhh! Daddy, mommy wants to go shopping!


By julie"anne at 10:10 AM

O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers.

Be patient. Don't ever let your anger consume you. 

Dec 5, 2013


By julie"anne at 8:51 AM
Today on the way to UM we listened to The topic was the weird way to save electricity. Someone suggested to visit friends at convenient hours, like 7 p.m., at which we would consume power the most. At the same time we could be saving our dinner budget. I had a good laugh at that. Simultaneously we thought of Lyd. Hahaha.

Then, the lady DJ suggested the mall. The Mr. Yu went like, "Noooo lady! That's not a good idea. That is even worse than not saving electricity." And I laughed so much.

Mr. Yu is not that stingy and I am, imo, not a spender as well. I like it, when he doesn't really mind about me spending. Not like some people who keep nagging about money. OMG! That is literally the worst!

Sometimes I just want to shout it in their faces, that I've had enough listening to their nagging. Come on! Really? You want to say, you don't have enough, when you earn twice I make every month, with less responsibility and commitment than what I have? Learn how to be thankful, man! 

Seriously. I've never heard Mr. Yu complains about money, to me or his friends. And we have never felt so desperate to keep nagging about it. We know how much we make, and we know how to spend and save for rainy days. Manage your money without telling people your account balance. That will keep you worry-free! 

And never ever be so stingy and so calculative. Have you ever heard of 'what you give is what you get'? 

Dec 4, 2013

My hubby

By julie"anne at 2:40 PM

My best friend, life's companion, my soulmate.

'We are just friends'
'There's nothing could happen between us'

So you still think friends should never get together? Do you still believe being married to a non-friend is the ideal idea?

While you are still in THAT zone, you don't know what you have been missing out. For me, I am glad, that I am married to this guy. A really good friend, even before we get together.

I love you, hubby!

Nov 27, 2013

The Sabah trip

By julie"anne at 3:27 PM
It took me quite a while to update about this trip. As soon as we reached KL I started to feel sick again. KL is a horrible place for me, for now, I guess.

We, Mr. Yu and I, took the bus from KL Sentral to LCCT at 10 and arrived at 11 in the morning. We had lunch there (I prepared some spaghetti) Waited for the other guys there. They were late! We were like only a minute behind after they closed the baggage drop off gate. But we still tried to go to the departing gate. Luckily! the flight was delayed and we can take our big baggage to the aircraft and leave it at the staircase. Such a relief. I stayed cool, even though I was like crying inside. That happens only when you are surrounded by the right people. hahaha

We arrived KKIA at around 5. Took a taxi to tune Hotel for 50MYR per trip. At night met uncle and family. They let us use their car for the weekend. Yay!

On the first day, we had breakfast at Segama. Not worth mentioning,though. Then we went straight to Kinabalu Park. The place, the view was magnificent! Love it there! I had the strength to climb the stairs!!! That was like magical right?

Then we went to Kundasang to see the cows! Didn't stop long because Najmy couldn't help feeling pity for those animals. We went ahead to Sabah Tea Plantation.

That was it for the first day.

The second day, we went to Pasar Minggu. Bought some souvenirs. And went to Pantai Tanjung Aru. This was relaxing. In the evening we went to Filipino Market before enjoying the sunset at Tanjung Aru. Had dinner at uncle's house. Yum3!

The next day we said goodbye to this beautiful city. And then I fell sick. Just like that. Magic, or so I thought. haha

Nov 23, 2013

Feeling good.

By julie"anne at 11:31 PM
Dear my baby,

I hope you are doing fine in there. Mommy doesn't feel good, but for you I would do anything. This little discomfort I am feeling right now, I hope you won't feel it. You are a little champ, aren't you baby tiger?

There is no more satisfying feeling than the one when you look at your hubby numming down the food you just prepared. I have been slacking off these past few months. I am afraid I have lost my groove in the kitchen. But these past few days I've found it back. Hubby is hungry no more. 

Nov 22, 2013

Kau dah ke? Bila lagi?

By julie"anne at 10:11 AM
Yesterday I got this question: "Kau dah pregnant ke belum?"

Seriously though, even when I currently am pregnant, I am still offended by this question. As if that is the only reason we get married. I have so many other reasons to stay married to this guy. And having baby is the way we celebrate our love, not the other way around. It is more like the side effect. IYKWIM.

What if I wasn't pregnant yet? What if I couldn't get pregnant due to some medical problem or health issue? Or may be it wasn't just the right time yet to start a family. Why do you have to butt in and ask so personal question? Don't you care about my feelings? Aren't you a friend?

Having a child is, other than what we call rizq (provision), our own freaking choice. These people can't even stand the idea of people having choices. It is the norm in this society. Every married couple must have kids, if they don't they are not blessed or something. If they have too many, they don't know how to control. What is this shit?

I don't tell publicly that I am pregnant yet. By publicly I mean on Facebook. And here, even it is more public than my facebook account, I know they don't come and read this. If so, they wouldn't have to ask. I do tell close friends who bother to contact me through phones, not some social media. 

My pregnancy is so personal to me. I don't go out proudly and say, yeah we made it! It was like telling people, yeah, we fucked! No, that would then be weird and inappropriate, wouldn't it?

Nov 21, 2013

#travelgram - Sabah : Kinabalu Park

By julie"anne at 10:42 AM

The view is so beautiful, that you do not even need words to describe each picture, aite?

Nov 19, 2013

15th week - the second appointment

By julie"anne at 4:39 PM
Umm. Everything went well. The numbers are good and balanced. Mr. Yu was still there with me. Ahh.

I am already showing a bit. I am becoming lazy an lazier. urghh. I totally hate that. I am always hungry, but I don't really feel like eating. I don't have certain craving. This is driving me crazy. It is easier if I crave for something. But not to know what to eat is something annoying.

Sometimes Mr. Hubby easily gets annoyed by me. I think he is more hormonal than me. Tsk. That is all for now. I am not in the mood lately. I am lazy, hubby is busy. mehhh.

Nov 6, 2013


By julie"anne at 12:22 PM
The story of a deaf-mute and an autistic.

It started when Barfi met this beautiful girl, Shruti, and naturally fell in love with her. Unfortunately, despite the fact that she also had feelings for him, she had to marry her fiancé, as her mother opposed their relationship. Not only because the other guy is financially more stable than Barfi, but Barfi is born deaf-mute.

After getting married, Shruti and her family left the city. Jhilmil, an autistic girl, was brought back to her hometown from her caretaker because her grandfather was dying. Jhilmil and Barfi were childhood friends and Barfi's father was Jhilmil's family's driver.

The tragedy started after the grandfather passed away. The grandfather's wealth shifted to Jhilmil's trustfund. Barfi's father lost his job at the house and suddenly he fell sick and needed treatment. Barfi planned to kidnap Jhilmil, but to no avail, Jhilmil was already gone.

Barfi found Jhilmil and took her away, asking money for his father's operation, but he passed away right after Barfi got the money. He tried to send Jhilmil back but she followed him. During this time, they traveled and lived together. They ended up falling in love with each other, when Shruti came back to Barfi's life, trying to claim back her position.

Bollywood rom-coms never fail me. I know it is weird, but I like it weird between us. Weird people stay together forever. So, let's be weird and stay together forever!

Oct 31, 2013

12th week - the first antenatal check up

By julie"anne at 12:43 PM
It was done at klinik ibu dan anak Sri Rampai. We arrived at around 8 and were done at 10.30 a.m. That wasn't bad, was it?

First thing was the weighing and all that stuff. I weighed about 62.8 kg. OMG. But BMI still 21.7. Still in the range. Don't worry. Haha. 

After a long consultation by the nurse, I was sent to another station, which was the blood sampling station. Well, I have to say, there was quite a drama in there. I am really, really terrified by needles. Thank god, there was Mr. Yu. 

Then I met the doc. She was a young, nice doctor. Everything was OK, except for my hemoglobin. I have to take exta iron in my meals. That's all. 

I have to thank the nurses at the clinic. They were very proffessional at handling a cray-cray like me. I was literally crying in front of the nurse when asked to sign the permission for blood sampling. And then it was quite a struggle to get some blood sample from me. Sorry for that, and thanks for being so nice. 

Thanks Hubby, for being there. Other husbands just waited outside the room. But you were there for me. 

Gotta stop here before I get too emotional. Toodles!

Oct 27, 2013

A Nightmare

By julie"anne at 1:58 AM
I dreamed you left me,
just went off without a reason.

I woke up in tears,
Oh thank god,
you were still here. 

I just could not imagine,
If that happened for real. 
I would be so devastated. 
I would be dead inside. 

Please don't you ever leave me,
for my life depends on you. 
So much. 

Oct 21, 2013

A story about a mother

By julie"anne at 2:14 PM
I am lucky to have found Mr. Yu. Not only is he a great guy, his family is awesome. While some of us struggle with their in-laws, mines accept me the way I am.

I had seen a very fierce mother in-law, the one who just gave nothing but suffer to the pitiful daughter. When a woman is brought into a family, they are indeed becoming one of theirs, but that doesn't mean you can shout at her, hate her (seriously, she is becoming your daughter. Why can't you treat her as one of yours?) and accuse her of something so bad.

What worse is when other sisters-in-law gang up and add misery to the life of the poor lady, even after the mother has passed away. Worst is when the nieces and nephews learn not to respect her. Guess it is in their blood.

She remains silent until today. Nope, she never utters any single hateful word towards them. They, on the other hand, never stop doing what they do best (lol!).

She turns out to be a great mother-in-law to her daughter and son-in-law. And I am proud to say, she is the best mom I could ever ask for. We too had fights, sometimes. I was quite a rebel. I have to admit, I have to disagree with her when she is being too soft-hearted and lets herself to be pushover.

These past few months in Malaysia, I have learnt so many things about this mighty woman. I now respect her more. I love you, Mama!

Oct 18, 2013

This is the new generation.

By julie"anne at 6:59 PM

This so sad.

Tak habis belajar lagi, dah mengamuk minta dibelikan kereta. Walhal sedar diri bukan anak orang kaya pun. Si ibu berlembut hati keluarkan simpanan yang tak pernah diketahui anak-anak yang lain. Cuma anak yang ini saja yang tahu. Terus idamkan sebuah kereta.

Semasa masih dalam pengajian belanja macam anak orang ada-ada. Beli gitar mahal-mahal, ke sana sini berkereta, tak cukup itu, berhabis duit untuk kereta.

Sehabis belajar, rapat dengan makcik-makcik bermulut puaka yang memburukkan si ibu. Si ibu yang mengeluarkan duit untuknya juga yang dipersalahkan, tak sedar 30 tahun si ibu menjadi mangsa fitnah. Tak sedar rumah koyak rabak ditertawakan makcik-makcik puaka kerana nak membesarkan dia. Tak sedar, si ibu ada duit yang sedikit pun dikelepet mahu kereta, walaupun belum habis belajar. Si ibu juga yang beralah.

I have seen this. This hurts so much. Seeing a mother struggles for the lives of her babies, but in the end she is left with nothing, but a broken heart. Even though she never says it out loud. I can feel her.

This hurts. So much.

Pregnancy update - week 10

By julie"anne at 5:41 PM
My first appointment will be on the 31st oct. When told they will take some blood sample, I was literally crying. I hate it.

I am still not showing. Feel a bit better than before. Less nausea and a bit more anergetic. 

I like to eat, a lot. Not surprising, though. Haha. But this time I eat more. I have to. I am hungry all the time. Guess baby is doing fine. Yeay!

Hubby is as sweet as ever. Tends to my every need. Gets impatient sometimes when I am too cranky to handle. 

Mood swing is a weird thing. I could cry the whole way back from KT to KL, after witnessing an awful accident. I got emotional at things, which is actually not uncommon to me. Lol. 

Mothers are supportive. Be it my own, or my mother in law. I am so blessed. 

I don't have any craving problem. Maybe because hubby is tentattive enough. I always get what I want. Just say it. Lamb, grill corn, cendol, ice cream, etc. I started craving for lamb when we saw some travelling programme on tv. They ate the whole pork and it was salivating. Luckily I do not crave for pork. It just reminded me of some lammkotelett we had back in Germany.
This is from a restaurant in AEON AU2. Just nice!

Last night at KT we did some grilling! 
And of course there were lambs. Nice!

So that was all. Will try to update this kind of journal regularly. See ya! Toodles!

Oct 12, 2013

Salam sayang

By julie"anne at 6:04 PM
Tegur itu tegur kasih sayang. 
Teguran itu datang dengan penuh kasih sayang. 
Syukurlah kau ada lagi yang mahu menegur menasihat. 
Syukurlah kau ada yang sayang. 
Syukurlah kau ditegur, bukan diumpat atau diherdik dengan kata-kata yang menyakitkan. 
Kerana kau sendiri pun tahu sakitnya andai diperlaku sedemikian. 

Oct 7, 2013

Dear my baby

By julie"anne at 12:40 PM
Dear baby,

No matter how many times mommy has to get up in the middle of the night to visit the bathroom, no matter how many times daddy has to pull off at the road sides because mommy is feeling sick, we love you and care for you. 

Mommy knows that we (mom and dad) don't have strong foundation to bring you to the world just yet. But we promise to try harder each and everyday to provide you a better future than ours. Mommy is not ready yet, but don't worry, we have daddy! 

Daddy has always been there for mommy. And mommy is sure, he will always be there for you too. WE will be there for you, because we love you. 

Have you seen daddy? He loves you so much that his eyes sparkle everytime we talk about you. Oh, you are so lucky to have him as your daddy! 

Dear baby,

Mommy loves you too, but sometimes mommy gets angry. If mommy does, it doesn't mean mommy doesn't love you, or loves you any less. Mommy is always like that. Just remember, no matter what, I love you with all my heart!

Oct 1, 2013

The side effect

By julie"anne at 4:54 PM
Dear mommies-to-be,

Please don't be decieved by the term 'morning' in morning sickness. You can feel sick not only in the morning but also in the middle of the day, evening, night and even throughout the day till bedtime. And let me tell you this, it is indeed a serious business. 

Oh baby, why are you doing this to mommy? Mommy loves you. 

Sep 30, 2013

The big news!

By julie"anne at 1:00 AM
Hey lovely peeps!

How are you doing guys? It's been great for us. Really great but I still want to wait until today to share this. I wanted to wait a bit longer but I get so impatient.

The most wonderful thing happens. But I don't wanna jinx myself. Maybe that's why I waited until today.

Yeah, we are now 8 weeks pregnant! Yeay!!

We initially wanted to wait until next month, but I am way too excited! Sorry hubby! 

I have mixed feelings right now. Of course I am happy, but I am afraid as well. But hubby is doing great. He's been a great daddy already. He is gonna be one, that is forsure! 

Sep 18, 2013

Please, take me away.

By julie"anne at 4:47 PM
I have come to the point where I hate everything here. I hate the people, I hate the politicians, and the crappy political situation, I hate this place.

People are so nosy. If they are not, they are bragging and boasting about their power, achievements and money, like I care at all. Then come the backbiters. Seriously, they are the worst!

It is so annoying when people keep bragging like they are the best in this world, when they are just nothing more than anyone else. It is annoying when people backbite each other, showing good faces in front and turning evil faces behind our back.

The worst thing is, when all the mentioned annoying things are your so-called 'family'. Ughh!

I really wish, that one day, Mr. Yu would take me away from here to try living at the other side of the world again. To be honest, aside from being with him, which is so wonderful, I am not happy here. That is why I don't update my blog as frequent as before. I want this blog to be my happy station, where I can find my beautiful memories.

Aug 28, 2013


By julie"anne at 3:23 PM
I am a type of person who always mind my own business. I know very little of people and am not interested of getting to know more, because once I have made friends with people, I tend to stick with them. I don't know many people from my own village. I don' know most of my schoolmates. From primary school to even university.

My conversations with friends are mainly about ourselves. Seldom will we talk about others. So it goes in the family. Mama always says, 'mama tak tahu pun pasal orang. Orang lain pulak tahu pasal kita.' Yeah, that is the kind of my family.

I got furious when I knew, our own unties talked bad behind our back. Seriously, they are not any better than us. Yeah I understand we live in an old shabby house that we used to call home. But that doesn't give them rights to talk like that, because they used to live in that even shabbier house before. Just because they are now doing a bit better, they can trash talk people?

And the cousins, as always, will take their sides, and saying things like, 'kalau cakap direct boleh terima ke?'. Well, might I suggest you not to talk at all? Seriously, I never gave a damn about what you guys thought of us. But enough is enough.

I tried to build good relationship with them. But I think it has gone to waste, because they don't appreciate it. They don't appreciate us. 

Aug 27, 2013

Alles Liebe zum Geburtstag

By julie"anne at 6:00 AM
Thanks sayang, for entering my life.

You make my life so colorful and I love every bit of it.

You are the best thing ever happens in my life.

You, yourself are a gift to me.

I wish us a more wonderful life ahead.

I love you.

With all my heart and soul.

Aug 20, 2013


By julie"anne at 3:26 PM
This raya is not the first raya we celebrated together. In fact, we decided to get hitched as soon as possible to make sure we won't get seperated during hari raya. Because that would be sad.

Raya was fun together! On the second day of Syawal, we made some kenduri doa selamat. That went well. The next day we took off to Terengganu. That was super fun!

On the 4th raya, we had another kenduri at his house. It was our reception. Yeay. The event went well, although it was tiring.

Mak mesti tak puas hati, because she asked us to buy a veil. Tapi his son is quite kedekut. haha. Actually it's me, who thought this dress didn't need veil at all. Nevertheless it turned out good, eh?

Thank you Allah, for this union. I couldn't be grateful enough. Thank you to those, who came. 

Aug 19, 2013


By julie"anne at 2:34 PM

Macam ni kut kalau betul-betul ikhalas nak cari and keep in touch dengan kawan lama. Bukan call kawan lain untuk 'bertanya' tentang hal kawan tu.

Jul 25, 2013

Ramadhan Diary

By julie"anne at 2:29 PM
It's been half a month! We are halfway through!!

This is the weirdest feeling ever. Well, firstly, this is the first Ramadhan we celebrate as an official couple. Yep. A blessed one. Alhamdulillah. Secondly, after few years, this is the first Ramadhan at home, as in Malaysia. And in this Ramadhan I get to ´know a whole lot different things about his family, which is very nice, indeed.

I am not really good at getting along with people, especially the new ones. But there's something magical about this whole marriage thing. Although I am still very shy and quite quiet, as I normally am around new crowd, but it doesn't feel uncomfortable at all. I feel accepted and it feels like uhmmm.. family?

A day before Ramadhan, we drove all the way to Terengganu and surprised his parents. That was the first time I've ever been to Terengganu. To be honest, there was nothing much, but I liked it there. First day of Ramadhan in Terengganu. I couldn't say it was different in Terengganu. Well, what is normal to me? Haha.

We drove back to KL at 9 p.m. that very first Ramadhan. It was a very long and tiring journey. I slept all the way. huhu. We went to work like zombies the next day.

And then Aboh and Mok decided to go to my village, to see papa and mama and deliver the invitation cards. So we went home last Thursday, after breaking fast. Mok Aboh arrived on friday at 2 p.m.. That was fast.Had very nice couple of days together. The homestay was superb! We ended up sleeping in the master bedroom. (It was the only room) because mok asked us to stay after suhoor. On Saturday after sending them off we took off to KL. Made a few stops, at Kajang, Puchong, Shah Alam (iftar there) and Puchong again before heading home. Even though it was really tiring, it was fun meeting new, friendly people.

And now here we are. Still not knowing what to do for raya. Should we go back straight to Johor, or take a detour to Terengganu, drop Tokwan off and go back to Johor? That sounds tiring. but we'll see.

Jul 8, 2013

The solemnisation. June 29th 2013

By julie"anne at 6:55 PM
Lynn: Sekarang nikah pun orang buat pelamin ye?
Lyd: Kalau kenal yan betul-betul memang kena ada pelamin.
Me: hahahaha

Damn! Kalau nak kutuk belakang-belakang boleh? haha. Nasib ada pelamin tau. Kalau tak, cano nak amik gambar eh?

OK. Bismillahirahmanirahim.

I'd like to start with Alhamdulillah. Everything went well. It was a small ceremony. Indeed, but still a blessed one.

Everyone invited are the most important people in our lives. As soon as the nikah is done, I felt a sudden relief. As if 'the burden' I had been carrying around had been lifted.

The food was OK and just enough for everyone. The door gifts were enough for everyone too. This was perfect.

And I thank Allah for this union.

And for everyone else who are not invited, there will be two more receptions. Hope we'll see you there.

Jun 10, 2013

The Engagement

By julie"anne at 12:39 AM

Ferrero rocher with love. 

I made them myself!

Unluckily I did not have the rest of my hantarans. They were rather last minutes ones and I was verrrryyyy nervous that I forgot to take some pic. 

These were the baskets I used. I 'glam'ed it myself! Haha. If there's such a word. 

On Sat, June the 1st, my family and I went grocery shopping.

Then I cooked ayam masak merah myself. Thanks Kak Ina for helping.

From him. Cantik. Malu. Mine was like projek kanak-kanak tadika. Hiii.

Well, Yan loves Ayie too. :)

And yours truly. Dengan mak baru. :) oh, only god knew how I felt at that moment.

It was very simple. We even wore baju from past year. Those were however baju raya when we were in Germany. The memory still lives on. 

Special thanks to my parents, abang and kak ina, my other siblings and of course Mr. Yu's family. Without them this whole thing wouldn't be possible. And of course my besties, who weren't literally there but were present when in need. Thanks. 


Jun 5, 2013

UAI on Langkah Bendul

By julie"anne at 4:33 PM

May 28, 2013

"Ai dah jumpa sahabat ai" -Mr. Yu

By julie"anne at 2:47 PM

May 20, 2013

drive me crazy.

By julie"anne at 7:13 PM
Growing up in a poor family in a small village didn't give me the privilege of having luxurious things, which include the drivers' licence.

Done with high school, I worked part time at the supermarket and before the final year result was even announced I went to GMi, where I did my preparatory program before continuing to Germany.

In KL there're always public transports. So the need to own a personal vehicle never arose. Plus I didn't even want to burden my parent with my selfish 'need'.

Moving to Germany I depended a lot on the public transports too.

And here I am today, living in KL again. A big city with horrible traffic and accidents every now and then. What makes people think I ever need a drivers' licence?

Nevertheless, I usually get criticized by people who don't know me, saying my life is boring for not being able to drive. Hey who says I can't drive? I may not have the licence, but I still can drive ever since, well, maybe since I was even younger than you, when you ever first drove a car. I taught myself driving a stick at a very early age. Yes, stick. Some people nowadays still have difficulties driving manual, even with a licence. What about that, huh?

Dah tua pun tak ada lesen? Yes I get laughed at, a lot. Before you say something like that, you might want to do a background check.  Maybe people can't afford it. or maybe they had a difficult experiences. Or maybe they just simply don't want to.

To me, owning a car or a drivers' licence is not necessary. It is luxurious. And I, for now, simply can not afford it. It may be a necessity to some, but certainly not me. 

May 17, 2013

Goodbye to sadness

By julie"anne at 10:47 AM

Nakanaide hitori de
hohoende mitsumete
anata no soba ni iru kara

Don't cry alone
Look at me smiling
Because I will be by your side

Wein nicht allein
Schau mich an und lächle
Weil ich bei dir bin

Link to lyrics

May 14, 2013

One ticket to Farhampton, please. -HIMYM

By julie"anne at 3:15 PM

Simple Song - The Shins

Well this is just a simple song
To say what you've done
I told you about all those fears
And away they did run
You sure must be strong
When you feel like an ocean being warmed by the sun

When I was just nine-years-old
I swear that I dreamt
Your face on a football field
And a kiss that I kept
Under my vest
Apart from everything, but the heart in my chest

I know that things can really get rough when you go it alone
Don't go thinking you gotta be tough, and play like a stone
Could be there’s nothing else in our lives, so critical
As this little home

My life in an upturned boat
Marooned on a cliff
You brought me a great big flood
And you gave me a lift
Girl, what a gift
You tell me with your tongue
And your breath was in my lungs
And we float up over the rift

I know that things can really get rough when you go it alone
Don't go thinking you gotta be tough, and play like a stone
Could be there's nothing else in our lives, so critical
As this little home

Well is just a simple song
To say what you've done
I told you about all those fears
And away they did run
You sure must be strong
When you feel like an ocean being warmed by the sun

Remember walking a mile to your house
A glow in the dark
I made a fumbling play for your heart
And the act struck a spark
You wore a charm on the chain that I stole
Especial for you
Love's such a delicate thing that we do
With nothing to prove
Which I never knew 

May 13, 2013

It could've been us

By julie"anne at 4:42 PM
As if it was still not enough. I still had to witness a terrible accident.

Two speeding motorbikes collided with a car. And we were literally just right behind them. Had we been faster, we could be one of them. The car was trying to bypass the traffic by doing an illegal U-turn. That was when the motorbikes came from behind and hit the car on its side. There were 2 people on one bike and a man on the other. All were heavily injured.

One of the guys was at the road side, moaning in pain, calling mom and asking for help from the people. I was so shocked and terribly shaken. I couldn't even look at him. Mr. Yu played an important part, calling the police. I just sat there and cried.

The car driver could have gone just a little bit further to do U-turn (not further than a mile). See, how being irresponsible can cause injuries to the others? So please dear friends, please, please, please be responsible especially when you are on the road.

And don't speed.

May 3, 2013

By julie"anne at 10:12 AM
Just as I thought everything in my life had moved the way I wanted. Just as I thought everything happened smoothly and accordingly, and this horrible thing happened and proved to me that I couldn't be more wrong.

My fate has been tested, yet again. It makes me more afraid. Why do bad things always happen to me? What did I do wrong? Am I cursed? Why?

I really hope I'd get them back. The things that hold my memories all these years. They are worth more than money can buy.

Thank you friends. Thanks for the moral supports. Thanks, sayang. But for now let me stay. I am still afraid to leave this house. I am afraid if even worse thing is gonna happen to me. If that happened, I wouldn't be able to stand it anymore.

May 1, 2013


By julie"anne at 10:11 AM
This morning while having breakfast at a mamak stall, a beggar approached us, force-shook Mr. Yu's hand and literally shoved his container to Mr. Yu's face without saying a single word. Since Mr. Yu didn't have small change, I volunteered giving him my money.

I pulled out my purse and handed him some coins (indicate several pieces of coins, which are probably worth more than a buck). To my surprise, he withdrew his container and walked away, leaving us dumbfounded as he received a one buck note from the people sitting at the next table.

Apparently beggars in Malaysia only accept notes and dare to turn down coins. Oh, they are too good for coins now while they live off people's sympathy? Too bad, I value every cent I earn. My coins may not be valuable to you and your container, but it's worth something to my piggy bank.

Please don't misunderstand when I say 'they live off people's sympathy'. I did neither mean to degrade anyone here, nor would I mind giving him more, if I had any. But this is too outrageous.

This event really blew our minds. We left the stall asking ourselves, what the hell just happened. We even forgot Mr. Yu's bag behind.

I still can't believe this just happens to us. Wow! just wow!

Apr 29, 2013

Political Issue

By julie"anne at 5:41 PM
I am in the middle of writing a paper. But now my head is jammed. Apparently my knowledge is still not enough yet (duhhh)

I like my life right now. I am not in a hurry. Even though my friends are guessing my wedding date, I am still as cool as cucumber (lol). But it is true though. I don't like living in pressure, as I know I can never handle it.

I go to school on weekdays and have casual weekends with Mr. Yu and sometimes with friends. That is so fulfilling enough.

The political scenario in Malaysia is a real life joke, though. I can not decide on which side I want to be. Oh, something weird happened today. Somebody added me on FB and as usual I never accepted strangers. But this person really caught my attention, firstly, because he added me on every social media I have, and secondly, after a thorough inspection and investigation (haha) I find out he is a friend's brother. I gave him a chance and saw his status updates, which mainly talking about politics (he's pro BN, btw) which is actually fine by me. Well, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, right?

I still can accept his answer if only he stopped at his first comment. But then he added "Jadi bijak sikit". Well, not wanting to stoop at his level I answered back(as you can see in the pic). Suddenly he unfriended me and updated a status like "done removing unknown people on his FB". And I was like, what the hell just happened? Wasn't he the one who added me first? And he was so proud that he removed me? Well, be my guest. I am not interested in your opinion at all. Fuck off.

Seriously, Although I say I do not know on which side I want to be, it will definitely not be HIS side, where others' opinions are just dumb and he is soooooooo right. People can't seem to just accept others' opinions or at least respect them.

This is one of the crazy political scenario in Malaysia. Pretty crazy huh?

Apr 17, 2013

Kahwin dan hantaran.

By julie"anne at 1:03 PM

Copy from FB:
Macammana nak kahwin kalau Wang Hantaran Tinggi! nak kumpul RM10,000 bukannya mudah. tu kalau RM10,000 mauye mintak Rm20,000 lagi pengsan nak kumpul.
itulah keluhan yang seringkali kita dengar dari lelaki yang ingin berkahwin. kadangkala si wanita tidak berkisah mengenai wang hantaran cukuplah mas kahwin sahaja kerana tidak ingin membebankan lelaki tetapi si ibu dan bapa pula berkisah dan inginkan wang hantaran yang kadangkala membebankan si lelaki.

mungkin kerana tidak ingin diperkatakan oleh saudara, mungkin tidak ingin menjadi buah mulut jiran tetangga, mungkin kerana anaknya belajar tinggi, mungkin kerana anaknya bekerjaya dan banyak lagi kemungkinan.

Ada juga ibu bapa yg tidak berkisah tetapi bila dihasut oleh saudara dan jiran tetangga maka diletakkan wang hantaran yang tinggi. Ini pun pernah berlaku.

Duit hantaran jadi duit untuk majlis perkahwinan? Ini pun banyak berlaku kerana ibu bapa tidak ingin mengeluarkan duit sendiri untuk majlis perkahwinan. Bukankah duit hantaran itu hadiah untuk bakal isteri?

ternyata ini membebankan bakal suami untuk mendapatkan duit dan oleh kerana inilah ramai yang tidak berkahwin dan mengambil jalan pintas dengan membuat "Pinjaman Peribadi" semata-mata ingin berkahwin dan seterusnya dihimpit dengan pelbagai hutang.

Apa pendapat anda?

mungkin kerana tidak ingin diperkatakan oleh saudara, mungkin tidak ingin menjadi buah mulut jiran tetangga, mungkin kerana anaknya belajar tinggi, mungkin kerana anaknya bekerjaya dan banyak lagi kemungkinan. 
Ada juga ibu bapa yg tidak berkisah tetapi bila dihasut oleh saudara dan jiran tetangga maka diletakkan wang hantaran yang tinggi. Ini pun pernah berlaku.
Duit hantaran jadi duit untuk majlis perkahwinan? Ini pun banyak berlaku kerana ibu bapa tidak ingin mengeluarkan duit sendiri untuk majlis perkahwinan. Bukankah duit hantaran itu hadiah untuk bakal isteri? 
ternyata ini membebankan bakal suami untuk mendapatkan duit dan oleh kerana inilah ramai yang tidak berkahwin dan mengambil jalan pintas dengan membuat "Pinjaman Peribadi" semata-mata ingin berkahwin dan seterusnya dihimpit dengan pelbagai hutang.
Apa pendapat anda?

Ade yang kata takde duit, takyah gatal sangat nak kahwin. Sedangkan walimah itu tak wajib, and perkahwinan itu sunnah rasul.

Sesetengah kata kalau tak mampu bagi hantaran tinggi, ape jaminan boleh jaga anak orang selepas kahwin? Soalannya, dia kahwin dengan anak jin ke? Makan pakai sampai beribu-ribu sebulan. Daripada mampu nak makan secukupnya bulan-bulan, jadi tersepit hidup dengan hutang. Itu lagi bagus ke?

Ada yang kata kita orang melayu hidup dengan adat. Jawapan saya, saya hidup berlandaskan agama. Kalau awak nak teruskan adat awak, awak punya pasal.

Saya terima semua dengan hati terbuka. kalau ada Alhamdulillah, kalau tak ada pun syukur. Sebab itu semua rezeki Allah.

Apr 12, 2013

October Road

By julie"anne at 10:23 AM
genre: drama

Glass, Concrete and stone
NowI'm wakin' at the crack of dawn to send a little money home from here to the moon is risin' like a discothequeand now my bags are down and packed for traveling
Lookin' at happiness keepin' my flavor fresh nobody knows I guess how far I'll go, I know so I'm leavin' at Six O' Clock meet in a parkin' lot Harriet Hendershot sunglasses on, she waits by this
Glass and concrete and stone It is just a house, not a home.
Skin, that covers me from head to toe except a couple tiny holes and openings Where, the city's blowin' in and out this is what it's all about, delightfully
Everything's possible when you're an animal not inconceivable How things can change, I know
So I'm puttin' on aftershave nothin' is out of place gonna be on my way Try to pretend, it's not only
Glass and concrete and stone That it's just, not a home. And its glass and concrete and stone
It is just a house, not a home And my head is fifty feet high Let my body and soul be my guide
You just know when it is time to come home, after years of adventure. You just know where your heart belongs. But you don't know what has or has not changed. You have no idea, what kind of blowback you will get after leaving for so long.You will never know there is still an unfinished business until you come back.

This series is all about that; how friends can be loyal, how love lives and never dies.

No matter how fancy you are living, you have to come back. After all, it is still just a house, not a home. 
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