Feb 18, 2013


By julie"anne at 11:04 AM
Kenapa orang yang dulu lebih rendah dari aku dok gelakkan aku belajar lama eh? Seingat aku tak pernah pulak aku gelakkan mereka, bila markah diorang barely lulus dulu.

Eh, SPM ko berapa? Tak dapat straight A's? hahahaha. Adeke?

Feb 10, 2013

Pushed away.

By julie"anne at 1:09 PM
Sometimes I think Mr. Yu is still not ready to take this relationship a step further. Whenever he is around his family or friends I feel like I am being pushed away. While everytime I have my family around me, I will try my best to include him in the circle. And I kinda tell everyone at the lab about him. I bet nobody knows I ever exist.

Just yesterday when he had fun with his colleagues, he told me to wait somewhere else before he came to pick me. Luckily Shida and hubby were free to take me home. I could simply stop at Sri Rampai and went home with him from there. I wouldn't mind waiting for him. But I got a feeling he doesn't want anybody to see him with me. He was only done at 10. And how long did he expect me to wait at shida's place?

It's okay yu, I will always wait for you. Just let me know when you are ready.

Feb 9, 2013

Of help and the helper.

By julie"anne at 12:52 PM

I think it is unfair to expect people to be ready to help you all the time, but I just hope the people I've helped before is willing to help me, especially when they are actually doing fine and capable of helping others.

Maybe I should realise that every kind of helps comes from Allah. It is his decision, through whom He wants to send his help. That way I won't expect too much or put on hope too high. 


Feb 7, 2013

on being obedient.

By julie"anne at 12:39 PM
6 years ago, I begged mama and papa to let me home. They persuaded me to stay and finish my study. As I was struggling with the things I didn't even like, my friends had done with studies and gone back to Malaysia. That worried mama so much, and my persuasion didn't help at all. Apparently saying 'xpe la. Lantakkan la diorang' was very rude. And I was just saying rezeki manusia lain-lain. And that wasn't acceptable as well.

After 6 years of struggling, I went home. No congratulations, no happy smile. Just cold shoulders given to me, blaming me for taking so long doing the thing I didn't like. And my situation with a brother wasn't helping either. Yes, if asking money back from someone who is a total ass is wrong, then I am wrong. I wasn't even struggling on studies, my financial status was a big mess back then. I was still wrong for asking MY money back. Even now, the money he owed me would still be a big help to me.

Now I have the opportunity to do what I want. But no. According to them, a woman must do what a woman must do. A woman shouldn't be involved in the industry. A woman shall teach, and teach shall I. Hence I am trapped between being an obedient child and being a human, that I am.

Feb 5, 2013

On life.

By julie"anne at 9:17 AM
Someone is totally living my life. Living in a foreign land, having a small, but happy family, with hubby and kids, not having to go to work. Ahh.

In Malaysia, you both have to work. Life is hard over here. I will be just fine not having fancy dinner or expensive clothes or blings, but I still have to work hard for a life that's so ordinary.

Why can't I stay in Germany? Ughhhh!! 
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