Jul 12, 2014


By julie"anne at 1:02 AM
All this while the ustazs would tell you about mothers' milk and to be obedient to them because they gave birth to us and breastfed us. I didn't quite understand why they even stressed at that point, until now. Yeah I got it, it is not easy being pregnant, and giving birth is not that easy as well. But breastfeeding? Now that I have experienced it myself, I finally understand.

It is not only about milk. It is about life, love and energy in every bit of the milk that gets into our body and becomes parts of us. Breastfeeding is not as easy as it seems to be, at least to me. 

Being pregnant, as burdensome as it may sound, you can at least still sleep at nights, or even during the day, (well, for some people who are lucky enough, including me). I didn't have any trouble sleeping during my pregnancy, except when I had to wake up to puke or pee. That was still bearable. And that was only for like couple of months. And then comes the labour part, which it not exactly the easiest, but that only lasts for a couple of hours or days in some less fortunate events.

But breastfeeding needs full commitment. I don't say mothers who feed their children formula milk are not commited. But breastfeeding is like pumping your energy into your child's body. Yes, mothers who don't nurse their children still wake up in the middle of the night to feed them and change their dirty nappies. But as the babies suck the milk out of you, it's like they suck along your energy. You will be exhausted. And you have to wake up again (only if you could fall asleep) and get your energy sucked out yet again every two hours. It is indeed a tiring process. While breastfeeding might sound easy (yeah, it is portable and automatic milk maker. It is not like you have to get out of your bed and prepare formula), but it is actually much harder than being pregnant. 

You have to deal with fussy baby, or in my case, sleepy baby. Yes, I have to wake my baby up, while I am pretty pooped out, myself. But if I didn't do that, he wouldn't have enough and it would lead to another problem. That's why I have to wake him up, especially during those times when his jaundice was still high. That was quite a challenge for me. I was still in confinement and the baby was always sleepy and drowsy because of the jaundice. 

I am lucky Luqman Aiden is not a cryer. But I still have to wake up at nights, or even stay up all night to wake him up every two or three hours to make sure he is fed enough. When you don't get much sleep you'll be even more tired. That is why I am so tired these days. 

Now I get it. 

Jul 11, 2014

Being a mother

By julie"anne at 12:37 AM
It is really tiring, but also very rewarding. The first few weeks, was so relaxing. Mama was here and the baby was so good. He is not a cryer, that is forsure not from me, really. (Update: I have been told that it IS indeed from me. I used to be such a good baby, haha) The second week he was admitted to the hospital for jaundice. Thank god it wasn't so bad. We stayed at the hospital for two days. The first night he got his phototherapy. The next morning he got a bit better and the doctor decided to stop the treatment, but we still needed to stay. The baby was so dehydrated. The first few days the baby slept throughout the day and didn't 'eat' much. That was because of the jaundice. We didn't know we had to wake him up. That's why he was dehydrated. Thank god it wasn't that bad either. The next day we went home. 

He wasn't entirely healed from jaundice when we went home. We still had to do some follow ups. But that was good enough for me. The baby is getting healthier and stronger each day. Alhamdulillah. 

He sleeps very well. Especially when there are visitors. Well, he is an infant after all. What do you expect from an infant? As I say before, he is not a cryer. Even when he wakes up at nights, he just makes some noise that wakes only me. Daddy is undisturbed and can sleep. That is good, because he needs to go to work in the morning. 

He is now a big boy already. He responds to us, smiles and acts so cute. Oh my goodness, I'd kill for his smile. 

Everybody loves him. I just want him to know, how lucky he is. As for me, I can't believe still, that I am a mom already. It is indeed very tiring, yet so rewarding. I love you, Luqman Aiden bin Mohd Zulkhairi. 

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